raising kind kids Archives - My Crumby World

How to Raise An Inclusive Child

mycrumbyworld — Mon, 05 Oct 2026 21:55:16 +0000

Teach your kids to notice who is outside the circle…and make room.

Every parent wants their child to have friends. We hope they find their people and that they are invited to birthday parties, included at the lunch table, chosen for teams, and welcomed into groups.

However, there is another important question we should consider: Are we raising children who make sure others are included, too?

It’s easy to worry about whether our own child belongs, but it takes a different kind of parenting to teach our children to look beyond themselves and notice those who are left out.

At My Crumby World, Rachel Rye advocates for a simple philosophy: Choose inclusion over exclusion. In a childhood culture where belonging can sometimes feel like social currency, this lesson matters more than ever.

Inclusion Is More Than Just Being Nice

We often tell children to “be nice,” “be kind,” and “don’t hurt anyone’s feelings.” While these are important messages, inclusion asks children to go one step further.

– Kindness might mean smiling at a new student.
– Inclusion means asking her to sit beside you.

– Kindness might mean not teasing the child standing alone at recess.
– Inclusion means inviting him into the game.

– Kindness might mean saying hello to someone who is different from you.
– Inclusion means making room for that person in your circle.

Inclusion requires action, and that’s exactly what Rachel Rye wants kids to understand.

Rachel Rye’s Circle Always Has Room

Imagine Rachel standing on the playground with several friends. They’re laughing, talking, and deciding what game to play when Rachel notices another child standing a few feet away. The child isn’t crying, and no one is bullying her; nothing obviously bad is happening. She’s simply standing outside the circle.

Rachel has a choice. She can continue talking with her friends, thinking that she didn’t exclude the girl. Or she can notice. Rachel scoots over, opens the circle, and says, “Want to play with us?”

Those four simple words could change the entire school day for that child. That’s the difference between teaching children not to exclude and teaching them to actively include others.

Rachel Rye’s “Make Room” Challenge

Rachel has a challenge for families this week.

It’s called the Make Room Challenge.

Encourage your child to do one thing that widens the circle.

They might:

Invite someone new to play.
Sit beside someone they don’t usually sit with.
Ask a new student a question.
Choose a different partner.
Introduce two friends who don’t know each other.
Make sure everyone gets a turn.
Speak up when someone is intentionally excluded.
Invite someone standing alone into the conversation.

Then, at dinner, ask:

“How did you make room for someone today?”

Imagine if that became as common as asking:

“How was school?”

The post How to Raise An Inclusive Child appeared first on My Crumby World.

Competition Isn’t the Enemy—But It Shouldn’t Be the Goal

mycrumbyworld — Tue, 21 Jul 2026 18:07:53 +0000

As parents, we want our children to succeed. We cheer from the sidelines at soccer games, celebrate report cards, and proudly display artwork on the refrigerator. We clap a little louder when our child gets the lead role in the school play. Encouraging children to do their very best is important, and healthy competition can teach valuable life skills. It can inspire perseverance, motivate children to practice, help them learn to win with humility, and teach them how to lose with grace.

However, the problem arises when competition becomes a child’s identity rather than just one of their experiences. When winning overshadows learning, when being first is valued more than being kind, and when outperforming others becomes the primary goal instead of personal growth, we miss one of the greatest lessons childhood has to offer.

In “My Crumby World,” Rachel Rye reminds us that life is not about proving you are better than everyone else. It’s about discovering how your unique gifts can enhance the lives of those around you.

Rachel Rye Understands That Everyone Brings Something Different

Rachel Rye has never believed every loaf of bread should look the same.

Some loaves are tall.
Some are round.
Some have seeds.
Some have swirls.

Each one brings something unique to the table.

People are no different.

Some children are incredible athletes.
Others are thoughtful listeners.
Some make everyone laugh.
Others quietly notice when someone is hurting.
Some children lead from the front.
Others lead by making sure no one gets left behind.

The beauty of a classroom, or a family, isn’t that everyone excels at the same thing. It’s that everyone contributes something different.

When children understand this, they stop seeing classmates as competition.

They begin seeing them as teammates.

Childhood Has Become More Competitive Than Ever

Today’s children are growing up in a culture where comparison seems almost unavoidable. They are surrounded by rankings, scores, likes, followers, travel teams, advanced classes, and highlight reels on social media. It’s easy for children to start believing that life is one giant competition.

Who gets picked first?
Who makes the highest grade?
Who scores the most goals?
Who gets invited to the birthday party?
Who has the most friends?
Who receives the award?
Who looks the prettiest?

When children constantly compare themselves to others, they often begin to measure their own worth against someone else’s achievements. This is a race that no one truly wins, as there will always be someone who is faster, smarter, more talented, or more popular.

If our children build their confidence on comparison, they will spend a lifetime chasing someone else’s finish line.

Healthy Competition Helps Us Grow

Competition, when approached correctly, can be incredibly beneficial. It teaches children to:

– Practice even when faced with difficulties.
– Persevere after experiencing disappointment.
– Respect their opponents.
– Learn from their mistakes.
– Celebrate their improvements.

These are valuable lessons. Healthy competition encourages a mindset of: “I’m going to challenge myself to become better than I was yesterday.” In contrast, unhealthy competition promotes the idea of: “I must be better than everyone else today.”

One approach focuses on personal growth, while the other emphasizes comparison. This fundamental difference changes everything.

The Goal Isn’t Winning…It’s Becoming

Rachel Rye loves a good relay race. However, she understands something that many children are still learning: winning doesn’t build character; the process does.

Every practice teaches perseverance. Every mistake teaches resilience. Every teammate teaches cooperation. Every loss teaches humility, and every success teaches gratitude. These lessons remain valuable long after the medals have been put away.

Parents often ask, “How can I help my child become more confident?” Ironically, confidence rarely comes from accumulating victories. It comes from realizing the following:

– “I can do hard things.”
– “I can keep trying.”
– “I can improve.”
– “I don’t have to be perfect to have value.”

Cooperation Is the Skill That Lasts

Consider the adults you enjoy working with. They are likely not the ones trying to outshine everyone else. Instead, they are the individuals who:

– Encourage others
– Share ideas
– Celebrate the successes of their teammates
– Solve problems collaboratively
– Listen attentively
– Help everyone around them improve

These are the people that organizations promote into leadership positions. They are the neighbors that communities trust and the friends that everyone wants to have.

These positive habits often begin in childhood. Children who learn to cooperate develop skills that will benefit them throughout their lives.

Helping Kids Shift From Comparison to Contribution

One of the greatest gifts parents can give their children is the ability to ask better questions.

Instead of asking:
“Did I win?”
Teach them to ask:
“Did I learn something?”

Instead of saying:
“Was I the best?”
Encourage them to ask:
“Did I do my best?”

Instead of wondering:
“How did I compare?”
Prompt them to think:
“How did I grow?”

And perhaps the most powerful question of all:
“How did I help someone else today?”

This question shifts the focus from competition to contribution.

Five Ways Parents Can Encourage Healthy Competition

1. Celebrate Improvement

Notice growth more than outcomes.

Instead of saying, “You won!” try, “I noticed how much harder you’ve been practicing.”

Children begin to value progress instead of perfection.

2. Cheer for Character

After a game, praise moments like:

encouraging a teammate
helping an opponent up
showing honesty
displaying perseverance

These are victories that don’t show up on the scoreboard.

3. Model Healthy Responses

Children learn by watching us.

Celebrate other families’ successes.

Congratulate competitors.

Speak respectfully about coaches, teachers, and teammates.

Your example teaches them that another person’s success doesn’t diminish their own.

4. Create Opportunities for Teamwork

Bake together.

Build a puzzle.

Plant a garden.

Volunteer as a family.

The more children experience working with others, the less likely they are to view everyone as someone to beat.

5. Keep Relationships Bigger Than Results

After competitions, remind your child:

“I’m proud of how you treated people.”

“I loved watching you encourage your teammates.”

“Win or lose, I love being your biggest fan.”

Those messages help children understand that your love has never depended on the scoreboard.

Rachel Rye’s Teamwork Challenge

This week, Rachel has a straightforward challenge.

At dinner, ask each family member to answer these two questions:
1. Who helped you today?
2. Who did you help today?

Notice that neither question asks who won. That’s because life isn’t measured solely by achievements; it’s measured by relationships.

The strongest communities aren’t built by individuals trying to outshine one another. They’re built by people who choose to lift each other.

Final Crumb to Hold Onto

Competition can help children become stronger, but cooperation helps them become kinder. Competition develops skills, while cooperation develops character. Both are important, but character will carry our children much farther than any trophy ever could.

Rachel Rye reminds us that the best teams are not made up of individuals trying to prove their importance. Instead, they consist of people who recognize that everyone has something valuable to contribute.

So, as this school year begins, encourage your child to work hard. Celebrate their effort and cheer for their growth. Above all, teach them that the greatest success in life is not about standing above others, but standing beside them.

The post Competition Isn’t the Enemy—But It Shouldn’t Be the Goal appeared first on My Crumby World.

Courage to Be Kind: The Bravest Choice Your Child Can Make This School Year

mycrumbyworld — Mon, 13 Jul 2026 19:30:34 +0000

As a new school year begins, many children are thinking about the same things:

“Will I like my teacher?”

“Will I make friends?”

“Will I fit in?”

Students often worry about what clothes to wear, where to sit at lunch, and whether they will feel like they belong. However, this year, Penelope Pumpernickel faces a different challenge. It’s not about getting straight A’s, making the team, or being the smartest student in the class. This year, her challenge is something much more important: having the courage to be kind.

Kindness Isn’t Always the Easy Choice

When we think about kindness, we often envision smiling faces, helping hands, and friendly words. However, true kindness isn’t always easy or comfortable. Sometimes, it requires us to take actions that may feel intimidating. It takes courage to sit beside the new student when everyone else is with their friends. It takes courage to invite someone to join your game, even if others might disapprove. It takes courage to say to a classmate, “You can play with us.” It takes courage to stand up for someone who is being teased. And it takes courage to walk away when everyone else is laughing at someone else’s expense. These actions are not just expressions of kindness; they are also acts of bravery.

Penelope Knows What Courage Really Looks Like

Penelope Pumpernickel has never believed that courage means you’re never afraid.

She knows courage means doing the right thing even when you are.

Imagine Penelope walking into school on the first day.

She notices a girl sitting quietly by herself during recess.

For just a moment, Penelope hesitates.

“What if my friends wonder why I’m talking to her?”

“What if she doesn’t want to play?”

“What if I feel awkward?”

Those thoughts are normal.

But courage whispers something stronger.

“What if she’s hoping someone will notice her?”

So Penelope walks over.

“Hi! I’m Penelope. Want to play with us?”

That simple invitation may only take a few seconds to say.

But for the child hearing it, it might become one of the moments they remember for years.

Courage Is Contagious

One of the incredible aspects of kindness is that it often creates a ripple effect. When one child demonstrates courage, others take notice. This can lead to a chain reaction, where more and more children begin to act with kindness. Research shows that prosocial behaviors, such as kindness, cooperation, and helping others, can strengthen relationships among peers, enhance feelings of belonging, and contribute to a more positive school environment. Children who feel included are also more likely to extend that same kindness to others, further reinforcing the cycle of goodwill within the classroom. One brave act can inspire many more.

The Quiet Pressure Kids Face

Today’s children are growing up in an environment where fitting in can feel incredibly important.

Sometimes they worry:

“What if people think I’m weird?”

“What if nobody wants to sit with me?”

“What if helping someone makes me less popular?”

These fears are real.

That’s why we shouldn’t assume kindness always comes naturally.

Sometimes children need permission and encouragement to choose kindness even when it’s difficult.

We need to remind them that courage isn’t measured by how loudly they speak or how many awards they win.

Sometimes courage looks like a quiet decision that no one else even notices.

Why Kindness Builds Confidence

Many people believe that confidence comes from being admired. However, lasting confidence often develops from living in accordance with your values.

Children who choose kindness learn something powerful:
“I can make someone’s day better.”
“I have something valuable to offer.”
“I can be a leader by lifting others up.”

That type of confidence does not rely on popularity; it stems from character. And character endures far longer than applause.

This school year, Penelope has a mission for every child.

She calls it the Courage to Be Kind Challenge.

Can you…

🌻 Invite someone new to join your game?

🌻 Sit next to someone who looks lonely?

🌻 Give a sincere compliment?

🌻 Stand up for someone being teased?

🌻 Include someone who feels left out?

🌻 Say “thank you” to your teacher?

🌻 Help someone who is struggling?

None of these acts requires superpowers.

But every one of them requires courage.

A Message for Parents

As parents, we naturally hope our children will be successful. We celebrate their accomplishments, cheer for them from the sidelines, and hang their artwork on the refrigerator. However, one of the most important questions we can ask after school isn’t, “Did you get everything right today?” Instead, consider asking: – “Who did you help today?” – “Did anyone make you feel welcome?” – “Did you help someone else feel welcome?” – “When was it difficult to choose kindness today?” Questions like these convey that kindness is just as valuable as achievement. Over time, children will start to believe this too.

Final Crumb to Hold Onto

This school year, many children may feel nervous. They might feel different or wonder if they will find a friend. Your child could be one of them.

Or…

Your child might even become the reason someone else feels like they belong.

Penelope Pumpernickel believes that courage isn’t always loud. Sometimes, courage sounds like, “Would you like to sit with me?” Sometimes, it looks like making room in the lunch line. Other times, courage means choosing kindness when it’s easier to walk away.

This year, let’s raise children who understand that the bravest thing they can do isn’t to be the most popular, the smartest, or the best athlete. The bravest thing they can do is have the courage to be kind.

Penelope’s Parent Challenge

Tonight at dinner, ask your child:

“If you notice someone sitting alone at school this year, what could you do to help them feel included?”

You’ll be surprised how one simple conversation can prepare your child for a courageous act of kindness before the school year even begins.

The post Courage to Be Kind: The Bravest Choice Your Child Can Make This School Year appeared first on My Crumby World.

When the School Calls: How to Respond if You’re Receiving Reports About Your Child’s Behavior

mycrumbyworld — Tue, 26 May 2026 18:04:31 +0000

No parent wants to receive that phone call.

The one where a teacher mentions your child has been teasing classmates, excluding others, being disruptive, or repeatedly getting into trouble socially.

It’s uncomfortable. Emotional. Sometimes even shocking.

But in Part 7 of our 7-part series: “Seven Signs Your Child Might Be Bullying Others—and How to Help,” we’re talking about why those reports matter, and how responding with connection instead of defensiveness can make all the difference.

Don’t Ignore the Warning Signs

If teachers, counselors, coaches, or other adults are consistently noticing concerning social behavior, it’s important not to dismiss it as:

“Kids being kids.”
Personality clashes
Overreactions from others

While no child is perfect, repeated concerns are often signals that your daughter may be struggling socially, emotionally, or relationally.

And the earlier you address those behaviors, the better the outcome can be…for everyone involved.

What School Reports May Be Telling You

Sometimes bullying behaviors stem from:

A need for attention or control
Insecurity or low self-worth
Peer pressure and social dynamics
Exposure to unhealthy online behavior
Difficulty managing emotions

This doesn’t make your child “bad.”
It means your child may need guidance, support, accountability, and stronger communication tools.

What To Do (With Penelope Pumpernickel’s Courageous Heart 💛)

1. Stay calm and listen openly
It’s natural to want to defend your child—but listening first creates space for growth.
Approach the conversation with curiosity instead of shame.

2. Communicate regularly without judgment
Create safe opportunities for honest conversations:

“Tell me what happened.”
“How are things going socially?”
“Do you feel pressure to fit in?”

Children are more likely to open up when they don’t fear immediate punishment.

3. Set clear expectations about kindness and accountability
Your daughter needs to know:

Kindness matters
Respect is non-negotiable
Actions have consequences

At the same time, remind her that mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow.

4. Pay attention to online activity
Social dynamics don’t stop when school ends.
Monitor:

Social media use
Group chats
Phone behavior
Online teasing or exclusion

Many bullying behaviors now continue digitally, often away from adult eyes.

5. Get support if needed
If patterns continue, don’t hesitate to involve:

School counselors
Therapists
Mentors
Parenting support resources

Asking for help is a strength—not a failure.

Connection Is Still the Goal

When parents respond with only punishment, children often become more defensive or secretive.

But when accountability is paired with connection, something powerful happens:
👉 Kids begin to feel safe enough to reflect
👉 Conversations become more honest
👉 Real change becomes possible

That relationship with your daughter is your greatest influence.

Why This Series Matters

As girls get closer to adolescence, social relationships become increasingly complex, and social media intensifies the pressure.

Our goal as parents isn’t to raise perfect children.
It’s to raise girls who:

Understand empathy
Take responsibility
Know how to treat others with kindness
Feel secure enough not to seek power through cruelty

And that work starts early.

Thank You for Joining This 7-Part Series

Over the course of this series, we’ve explored:

Controlling behaviors
Hurtful jokes
Entitlement
(Additional signs in the series)
Blaming others
Lack of empathy
Reports from school

Each topic is designed to help parents recognize subtle warning signs and respond with awareness, connection, and guidance.

Because when we strengthen communication with our daughters early, we help protect them from both participating in—and becoming victims of—the social cruelty that often emerges during adolescence.

Want More Parenting Tools and Support?

At My Crumby World, we’re passionate about helping parents build stronger relationships with their daughters in a world increasingly shaped by social media, comparison, and disconnection.

👉 Follow along for more resources, conversations, and tools designed to help your daughter grow into a kind, confident, emotionally healthy young woman.

The post When the School Calls: How to Respond if You’re Receiving Reports About Your Child’s Behavior appeared first on My Crumby World.

Is Your Child Struggling with Empathy? How to Help Her Develop Compassion and Emotional Awareness

mycrumbyworld — Thu, 21 May 2026 15:16:06 +0000

One of the most important qualities a child can develop isn’t intelligence, popularity, or talent.

It’s empathy.

In Part 6 of our 7-part series: “Seven Signs Your Child Might Be Bullying Others—and How to Help,” we’re exploring a behavior that often sits at the heart of social cruelty: a lack of empathy.

Because when a child struggles to understand or care about how others feel, it becomes much easier to dismiss pain, exclude peers, or laugh at someone else’s hurt.

What Does a Lack of Empathy Look Like?

Sometimes the signs are subtle.

Your child may:

Laugh when another child gets hurt
Tease someone for being emotional
Show little concern when someone is excluded
Seem emotionally disconnected from the feelings of others

These moments can feel alarming as a parent, but they are also opportunities for teaching and growth.

Empathy is not simply something children “have” or “don’t have.”
It’s a skill that can be nurtured, modeled, and strengthened over time.

Why Empathy Matters So Much

Empathy is what helps children:

Build meaningful friendships
Resolve conflict peacefully
Recognize when their behavior hurts others
Develop emotional intelligence and compassion

Without empathy, social interactions can become centered on power, status, or self-interest rather than connection.

And in today’s world, especially online, that disconnect can become dangerous.

What To Do (With Whitney Wheat’s Heart for Fairness 🧡)

1. Address the behavior with patience, not shame
Instead of labeling your child as “mean,” focus on helping her understand emotions and consequences.
Children learn best when they feel emotionally safe enough to reflect.

2. Teach emotional literacy
Help your daughter identify feelings–>both her own and others’.
Use phrases like:

“She looks disappointed.”
“What do you think he felt in that moment?”

The more children can name emotions, the better they can respond to them.

3. Encourage perspective-taking
Ask thoughtful questions:

“How would you feel if that happened to you?”
“What do you think she needed in that moment?”

Role-playing situations can also help children practice empathy in a safe environment.

4. Model compassion daily
Your daughter watches how you treat people, especially when others are struggling.
Small acts of kindness, patience, and understanding teach powerful lessons.

Connection Is the Root of Compassion

Children who feel emotionally connected at home are often more emotionally available to others.

That’s why building communication early matters so much.

When your daughter feels seen, heard, and valued, she’s more likely to extend those same feelings to the people around her.

Why This Matters as Girls Grow

As girls approach adolescence, friendships become increasingly emotional and socially layered. Without empathy, teasing and exclusion can quickly escalate into relational aggression and bullying.

But empathy changes everything.

It helps girls:

Become kinder friends
Handle conflict more thoughtfully
Build confidence rooted in compassion instead of comparison

And those are the skills that create healthier relationships for years to come.

You’re Helping Shape More Than Behavior

This is Part 6 of our 7-part series designed to help parents recognize subtle warning signs and respond with intention, connection, and guidance.

Because raising compassionate girls isn’t about perfection, it’s about helping them understand the power their words and actions have on others.

Want More Tools to Build Empathy and Connection?

At My Crumby World, we’re passionate about helping parents strengthen communication and connection with their daughters before the pressures of adolescence and social media take hold.

👉 Follow along for more practical parenting tools, activities, and encouragement designed to help girls grow into kind, emotionally healthy young women.

The post Is Your Child Struggling with Empathy? How to Help Her Develop Compassion and Emotional Awareness appeared first on My Crumby World.